That girl.
girls.
In my classes.
Gave me beatings.
Mentally.
She whooped my ass again.
In my head.
Making me.
Feel so badly.
I tried to ask.
the right questions.
And Didn’t want to.
failed so often.
Started not to follow-through.
Couldn’t grasp it.
Am I dyslexic?
Or is everything I do just wrong to you?
I don’t know why I’m bad at this.
Life is pain to me.
And now, Lithium.
I die inside.
And I’m ignored again.
And Feeling badly.
About myself.
And I am having.
Problems at work now.
First and lastly,
I am not so great at laughing.
Anymore.
And now, I’m crying.
In the dark.
That I got left in.
I don’t why I am dyslexic.
Why didn’t anyone ever understand me?
Everyday, I wish I was dead.
And become deadpan.
And now, again
I don’t know why I can’t be okay.
No one would ever help me.
So, no one came.
I drank myself in death.
Or I tried to.
And I’m left black and blue.
In the nothing.
Forever Hurting
in ways I never knew how to.
And now, I don’t know why I can’t be perfect.
I compensate in ways
That make me hurt you.
And I can’t let anyone in now.
My body disgusts me.
But I keep trying.
It never works.
I just keep failing.
Pained by me.
I am confused.
And I am afraid.
And you are right.
I am ashamed of me.
And I try.
I fail again somehow.
I think people like me.
They’ll go that far,
But then I break myself
And Alone again.
For not an hour,
For one whole decade.
And crying out,
I can’t find it.
Did I do something wrong?
Now, I’m just biting
My own head off.
And inside.
I’m …
Unsure.
I make mistakes
What is it that you need from me?
I can’t understand what I’m doing wrong.
Wish I was dead now everyday.
WHY is it never enough?
I drift away.
Chips on both shoulders.
And in pain.
I can’t move forward.
And I’m
left out in the rain.
Like a dog, broken, and in chains
Digging in when I
Move away From me.
I’m low again.
And no one knows.
and
The older I get.
The more I don’t know who to tell..
I tried.
I failed.
And tried again.
Chipping away at my self-esteem.
And In my head.
I am Cobain.
The heir to sighs and broken dreams.
I cannot move forward.
I can’t go back.
Why can this just not work?
With people like that,
It won’t ever.
I feel inferior now.
My Career ended
before it started
They broke me, and now I’m trailing off.
I survived.
But was cut up.
Downstairs.
When I was young.
And probably should have told someone.
And I did,
But that doesn’t always help.
I was a cut up.
(Kind of)
But I failed up.
But now, I’m down.
Alone again.
With my own thoughts.
And I’ll just go tell myself to shut up.
And shut it down.
Before I start up.
Again.
I hate myself
Because you taught me to.
And now, i can’t ail myself over it all
Cuz it happened over 10 years ago.
When you suffer,
Over it.
Long enough
eventually,
You’ll stop wanting people to touch you.
And it helps,
Because you know it doesn’t matter.
That much.
Anyway.